It’s 10 p.m. on a Thursday night and after hours of work, all of my homework for the following day finally sits on my desk completed. With my math problems finally solved, history sources read and English book chapters annotated, I grab my computer and hit play on an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy,” my current binge.
Finally ready to relax, I settle into my couch.
But just behind the Netflix tab a familiar presence lurks in the background: Schoology. Its glowing blue logo reminds me of the upcoming quizzes and interviews that I have time to prepare for now but won’t have time for tomorrow. These impending tasks guilt me into continuing to work, checking all the boxes I can, for the sake of my future self.
This dilemma strikes me almost constantly: Do I multitask — run through some flashcards for my upcoming Latin quiz, or write out those interview questions while a TV show plays in the background, deluding myself that I’m still allowing myself to rest? Or just take a full stop from work?
A study by The American Psychological Association and explanations by experts from Johns Hopkins Medicine show that rates of both school-related anxiety have risen since the coronavirus pandemic. I realize that taking moments to rest and step away from school stressors is more important now than ever.
Despite my knowledge of these rising rates of anxiety, most of the time I don’t let myself totally relax. The relief I get from checking a box on my to-do list feels way more satisfying to me than a respite from work. The hope of allowing myself to relax tomorrow or later in the week has trapped me in a cycle where total relaxation never feels achievable.
But I also understand that constant work is not sustainable, and burning myself out is a danger of keeping up my current habits. In such a rigorous academic environment like U-High, it can be difficult to internalize that not working does not necessarily mean being lazy, but doing so feels essential.
This conflict may not be solvable for me and other U-High students in a couple months or even over the course of our high school careers, but recognizing that shifts in attitude are needed feels like a good first step toward progress
